Curious, Healing – Books about healing, business, and fun

“When the Angels Left the Old Country” by sacha lamb

March 12, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Soph and Becca.

This is a book about an angel and a demon (and some humans). A Jewish angel, a Jewish demon, and Jewish queer humans, emigrating by ship from a tiny shtetl in Poland to New York.

The angel is obviously, essentially Good, and at the same time it can be oblivious, and its actions can have evil effects. The demon is selfish and encourages wickedness, and its actions can have ultimately good effects. They are conflicted within themselves, argue endlessly with each other, and love and need each other deeply. This complexity and debate around questions of good and evil, intent and action, are quintessentially Jewish, in contrast to a single clear polarizing answer.

Of course some immigrants were queer, and of course some of them would fall in love with each other. As a Jewish queer human myself, it was surprising and delightful to feel recognized in the world of this book, permeated with Yiddish phrases and Jewish mysticism.

The prose is a pleasure to read, tumbling from one scene to the next and only occasionally allowing the uncertainty and danger to ratchet too high. The outcome is satisfying neat, even if full repentance is a little unexpected.

Highly recommended!

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Chalice” by Robin McKinley

March 6, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Fill to me the parting glass by someinstant, fan fiction for this book

This book is beautifully written with strong characters and relationships and an interesting system of magic. It pulled me right through it. It’s another Robin McKinley book with a capable young woman protagonist studying hard to get through challenging circumstances. Mirasol has more help and less desperation than some of her protagonists have had in past books, so it felt softer to read about her and her world. I loved her honey and bees.

When I stepped back to think about the world-building, the book is disappointingly xenophobic and patriarchal. There is a crisis because the land won’t accept an outblood Master (male and hereditary) under an Overlord (also male) and the Master is supported by a Chalice (female and not hereditary).

I would love to see the creativity that went into this book supporting alternatives to xenophobia and patriarchy instead of reinforcing them.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Too Flexible to Feel Good” by Celest Pereira and Adell Bridges

February 5, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: A Practical Roadmap to Managing Hypermobility

Recommended to me by: Andy

Celest Pereira and Adell Bridges explain hypermobility and how to address it with a mix of the latest neuroscience, cartoon characters, and photographs of themselves doing yoga poses and exercises.

They say that hypermobility spectrum disorder occurs in up to 25% of the population. They are addressing the mild-to-medium forms of the issue, not the extreme form which is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Hypermobile people have overly stretchy connective tissue, which causes issues not just with their joints, but also with proprioception (sensing one’s own body), digestion, and anxiety.

It makes sense that hypermobile people are drawn to yoga where they can be immediately successful, but it is also easy to practice yoga in a way that causes injuries. This book has a series of explanations and exercises on how to add strength and core support to protect joints prone to overstretching.

They call for mindfulness and careful experimentation to find what works best for each body. They advocate for using active range of motion, going as far as muscles can take you on their own, rather than passive range of motion, pulling yourself deeper into stretches by force. For example, seated forward bend with hands reaching forward, rather than with hands around feet pulling you further into the stretch.

I appreciated concrete permission not to hold still in a pose if my body is done with it, not to pull my shoulder blades down when I’m reaching my arms up, and not to pull myself deeper into stretches. I didn’t feel like I was quite the target market for this book, because I don’t need cartoon characters to lighten up neuroscience, and I do a little yoga and a lot of other kinds of exercise. I might be mildly hypermobile, but I’m not a yoga superstar.

Recommended if you’re hypermobile (they have a few easy movements to check), do a lot of yoga, and want to get stronger and more aligned to protect your joints. Mindfulness and body awareness can help us all.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Gender Queer” by Maia Kobabe

February 2, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Soph

I was introduced to Maia Kobabe (e/em/eir pronouns) via eir lovely comic about folk dancing. Eir memoir is full of lively, beautifully drawn panels and naked honesty about the painful moments of growing up genderqueer.

Maia Kobabe shares the joyful moments as well, including her warm connection with her parents, sibling, neighbors, and friends. E explains that e felt a startling wave of joy on encountering the Spivak pronouns e/em/eir, and that’s why e uses them.

This came across to me as a book for adults, since it includes some sexually explicit drawings and discussion about a vibrator, etc. At the same time, Maia Kobabe says it is for genderqueer kids to see other people like them.

Maia Kobabe’s website includes a sample of Gender Queer.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Six Reasons to Travel” by Stuart Gelzer

January 22, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: an American Singer in Georgia

Recommended to me by: Jen Morris

As an enthusiastic fan of Georgian singing in general and Trio Kavkasia in particular, I was eager to read about the trio’s adventures in the Republic of Georgia as shared by one of its members. These three American men spent time in Georgia both studying the language in the capital city, Tbilisi, and touring the countryside to learn songs from master singers.

The book is well-written and full of engaging details about places and people. At the same time, it took me a long time to finish reading. It is a set of semi-independent essays, and some of the essays have more drinking and violence in them than I’m comfortable reading about. It is a book very much centered on men, with women relegated to the background or referred to disparagingly, like the “kerchiefed biddy” mopping a church. While women do sing in Georgia, there is a whole tradition of men sitting around the table drinking, singing, and eating, while women serve food they spent days preparing.

Toward the end of the book the focus returns to the theory and practice of learning Georgian songs. Stuart Gelzer looks back on a religious ritual he participated in without learning about it beforehand and says, “I actually like to stay a little lost, a little confused. […] I like the flow of apparent chaos, the hilarious unpredictability, the feeling of being a perpetual outsider, the challenge of being clueless.” This cheerful attitude born of luck and privilege gives him access to wonderful musical adventures and a deep knowledge of Georgian singing.

The whole time I wondered when the six reasons to travel would be explained. Looking at the beginning of the book again to write this review, I noticed a poem before the table of contents.

to leave one’s troubles behind one
to earn a living
to acquire learning
to practice good manners
to meet honorable men
for the pleasantness of being liked for oneself
— Freya Stark, A Winter in Arabia

Recommended for anyone interested in the nitty-gritty of traveling and learning songs in Georgia.

Available at Bertie Stanhope Press.

“Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price, PhD

January 10, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Sam Livingston-Gray

Devon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, trans person, and proud Autistic person.

The book starts out stiff and academic and a little defensive, citing a lot of facts and figures about being autistic. Gradually it warms up as it describes different people’s experiences with unmasking. The last chapter is a joyful exploration of how we can move toward an inclusive and accessible world for all neurodiverse people, including queer and trans folks and people of color. The book itself is a demonstration of unmasking.

Autism is a developmental disability that runs in families and appears to be largely genetically determined. Autistic brains have more interconnections in some areas than allistic (non-autistic) brains, and fewer in others. Autistic people tend to focus on small details rather than the big picture. Rather than adapting to ongoing stimuli (like an annoying sound), autistic brains find it more and more annoying.

Devon Price discusses other diagnoses that overlap with autism, such as ADHD, PTSD, and being “highly sensitive.” Autism is a cognitive and sensory difference that affects every area of life. People can have sub-clinical autism, not severe enough to be diagnosed, but still benefiting from unmasking and accommodations. Self-diagnosis is an option when formal diagnosis is financially or logistically out of reach.

Formal diagnosis of autism is slanted toward the characteristics of well-to-do white boys, because that was the population under study when the diagnostic criteria were developed. Autistic girls learn more social and masking skills because of the ways girls are given less leeway to be disruptive than boys. Black and brown autistic people have even less leeway and are likely to be seen as criminal rather than disabled at a very young age.

The distinction between “high functioning” and “low functioning” autism is called out as an artifact of Hans Aspergers’ eugenicist and fascist beliefs.

Substance use can be self-medication for sensory overwhelm and despair, and an attempt to facilitate social interactions. When there is less need for masking, there is less need for substance overuse.

The book includes exercises to discover disowned behaviors and the masks that compensate for them. Once autism is fully acknowledged, it becomes possible to choose activities and accommodations that fit better.

Recommended to learn more about autism and the ways autistic people struggle to meet neurotypical expectations. Also recommended for the encouragement to listen to our own needs and build a life that works for us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if societal resources were put toward making everyone successful by offering the support and accommodations each person needs.

Available at Amazon.