Curious, Healing » health at any size

“Women Food and God” by Geneen Roth

Sonia Connolly — Mon, 31 May 2010 19:04:20 +0000

Recommended by: a client.

The opening scene drew me in immediately. Geneen Roth shows eighty women furious at her because she is not yet letting them eat their tomato soup at a retreat about food and mindfulness. A few women bravely share their process of connecting to old pain and realizing that their adult selves can tolerate the pain without numbing themselves with excessive food.

Roth’s core message is transformative: how we relate to food is how we relate to our image of God. Until we bring conscious awareness to our process, how we relate to food and God is likely to be modeled on how our earliest caretakers related to us, and to themselves.

When we realize that we don’t need fixing, that our core self is already radiantly sacred, our obsessions and addictions fall away.

In my twenties, I hated my body, dieted regularly, and obsessed about food. In my thirties, I declared a moratorium on diets. I make my choices about food and exercise, and my body weighs whatever it’s going to weigh. It did that anyway, even when I counted calories.

Sometime after that, I declared that I don’t need fixing. I had hit bottom with allowing others to tell me what might be wrong with me. The message is spreading through me over time. Some parts of me continue to believe that it’s helpful to criticize or shame myself.

I wonder if Geneen Roth is experiencing something similar. Her overt message is about self-acceptance and compassion. At the same time, the book is sprinkled with half-joking self-denigrating comments.

There is a subtle negativity about being fat as well. One example: In the prologue where eighty women are waiting to eat their soup, one woman’s “tiny body” is described as “delicate, perfectly erect.” No one else’s body is described at all.

I hear the message as, “When you are self-accepting and self-aware, your healthy food and exercise choices will cause you to arrive at your natural weight, which will not be fat.” It is hard to be self-accepting as a fat person, while also believing that healthy, “natural weight” people are not fat.

I love Geneen Roth’s message that our adult selves can handle pain that was overwhelming in childhood. We’re not broken after all. I hope her next book will include more self-acceptance and compassion for compulsive eating and all our other “negative” avoidance behaviors.

I recommend Kate Harding’s blog Shapely Prose for more about fat acceptance. Two relevant articles are But Don’t You Realize Fat is Unhealthy and Why I Still Use the Term Fat Acceptance.

Previously reviewed: “When Food is Love” by Geneen Roth.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“When Food is Love” by Geneen Roth

Sonia Connolly — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 06:09:11 +0000

Recommended by: a client.

Geneen Roth has written several books about overcoming compulsive eating by removing external rules around food and listening to one’s own body instead. She also talks about the source of compulsive eating – not an internal lack of control, but a survival strategy to overcome the lack of external control in childhood.

In this book, she talks about her own history with intimacy, and the connections between how we treat food, and how we treat emotional connections in our lives. She reveals the neglect and emotional and physical abuse of her childhood, and shares stories from her “Breaking Free” workshops as well.

If you deeply explore one area of life, you will find the answers to every area. What you learn as you break free from your obsession with food is what you need to learn about intimacy:

Commit yourself.
Tell the truth.
Trust yourself.
Pain ends and so does everything else.
Laugh easily.
Cry easily.
Have patience.
Be willing to be vulnerable.
When you notice that you are clinging to anything and it’s causing trouble, drop it.
Be willing to fail.
Don’t let fear stop you from leaping into the unknown, or from sitting in dark silence.
Remember that everything gets lost, stolen, ruined, worn out, or broken; bodies sag and wrinkle; everyone suffers; and everyone dies.
No act of love is ever wasted.

The book is full of vivid metaphors and urgent truths. It is a call to turn inside, face one’s demons with gentleness and compassion, and find freedom.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Rethinking Thin – The New Science of Weight Loss – and the Myths and Realities of Dieting” by Gina Kolata

Sonia Connolly — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:47:05 +0000

This dry, technical book provides a much-needed survey of scientific results about weight-loss dieting, most of which don’t make it to mainstream media nor public consciousness. Vignettes about the participants in a 2 year dieting study add a veneer of characterization and plot.

Scientifically shown in controlled and reviewed studies:

Every body has a preferred weight, within about a 20 pound range.
Bodies already at their preferred weight react radically differently to extra calories than bodies below their preferred weight. This is a strong reason for the rebound effect after a weight-loss diet. It is also a refutation of “a calorie is a calorie is a calorie” which is often used to judge people’s food choices and body sizes.
Most people find it physically impossible to lose more than 10% of their body weight and keep it off. This is not the result of a character flaw, nor “not trying hard enough.”
On average, people who are moderately “overweight” by current standards are healthier and live longer than people who are at or under currently recommended weights. These studies were intensely challenged by many people invested in the obesity “epidemic.”
Both increasing height and increasing weight are correlated with more prosperous societies. Perhaps plentiful food allows people to reach the high end of their genetic range for height and weight.

Any book where I start skimming rather than reading doesn’t get posted to this blog. This book narrowly escaped that fate. I did skim a couple of chapters about the history of weight-loss dieting, but the careful scientific reporting drew me back in.

I highly recommend reading this book if you need support to accept your body as it is rather than battling yourself with weight-loss diets.

Available at Powell’s Books.