I read the occasional parenting book to find out how I should have been treated as a child, and to learn how to treat myself and others better now.
This book advocates treating children as lovable, capable beings deserving of respect. This shouldn’t sound radical, right?
The examples and exercises teach many concrete, immediately applicable skills, including
- Respect their feelings
- Listen receptively
- Jointly look for solutions to recurring issues
- Praise descriptively
- Expect positive results
The lessons are illustrated with both Do and Don’t cartoons of children and parents interacting.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who interacts with children, or who wishes their parents had been more skilled.
I love this book! I often use the suggestions when talking with myself… For instance, when the 6 year old in me acts out or when I’m feeling angry, fearful, anxious, whatever. It has been super useful for me.
[…] liked How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk so much that I read the authors’ prior […]
Hi, Larisa, thanks for sharing your response! I agree – the suggestions are great both internally and externally. I’ve been thinking a lot about their suggestion to describe situations rather than giving orders.
I just finished reading and commenting on their prior book as well.
I love this book and it has helped me out as I struggle with being a parent. I think the authors’ perspective is helpful for communicating with adults, too!
Hi, Pam, thanks for commenting! I agree, I’ve found it useful when communicating with clients, especially the suggestion to say, “Hmmm” and allow some space for them to continue talking.
[…] to Talk So Kids Will Listen (PDF)“. An illustrated summary of the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. The comics are from the book, and portray respectful […]