“Liberated Parents, Liberated Children” by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish

I liked How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk so much that I read the authors’ prior book.

“Liberated Parents, Liberated Children” was published first, by many years. It tells the story of how the authors and a group of other parents (fictionalized to protect privacy) learned respectful, compassionate communication and boundary skills from Dr. Haim Ginott.

Over 5 years, they and their families were transformed.

The skills (summarized below) are the same in both books. This book highlights each parent’s journey as they struggle to learn how to honor their children’s feelings, and their own feelings as well.  They share both immediate successes and frustrating stumbles.  Their dedication to finding a better way shines through the pages.

I am grateful to them for persevering, and for publicizing what they learned. I am grateful to Dr. Haim Ginott for creating these skills, and teaching them. I am grateful to all the parents out there dedicated to learning a better way. I wish my parents had had this kind of dedication and support.

From the book’s inside cover:

Find out how the mood in your home can change when you respond:

To crying with: “A scratch can hurt.”
(Instead of “Stop crying. It’s only a scratch.”)

To accidents with: “The milk spilled. We need a sponge.”
(Instead of “Now look what you did!”)

To misbehavior with “Walls are not for writing on. Paper is for writing on.”
(Instead of “Bad boy! No more crayons for you!”)

To messiness with: “It would be really helpful if you would put the juice back in the fridge.”
(Instead of “Why can’t you ever clean up after yourself?”)

To rudeness with “You really hate it when Aunt Harriet pinches your cheek.”
(Instead of “You’re making a big fuss over nothing. Aunt Harriet loves you.”)

To whining with: “It’s really hot for you in here, isn’t it?”
(Instead of “How can you feel hot? It’s cool in here.”)

To carelessness with: “Kids, the door’s open!”
(Instead of “Shut the door! What’s wrong with you?”)

To sibling fighting with “You two are really angry with each other. Why don’t you each write down what happened.”
(Instead of “I don’t care who started it! I just want it ended!”)

Highly recommended to anyone who wants to interact more peacefully and successfully with outer or inner children.

Available at Powell’s Books.

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