Sonia Connolly

“White Women: Everything You Already Know About Your Own Racism and How to Do Better” by Regina Jackson and Saira Rao

July 2, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: With a Guide to Start the Unlearning
Recommended to me by: Third Eye Books giveaway

On International Women’s Day in March 2023, I heard that Third Eye Books was giving away an anti-racist book for white women. I clicked on the link to receive one. After a few weeks, I realized it never arrived and looked back at their website. They had received 50,000 orders! I thought they would only send books to the first few (hundred) people who ordered, but just in time for Juneteenth 2023, the book arrived.

From the introduction:

“Race2Dinner was founded in 2019 as a dinner experience with Regina Jackson, a Black woman; Saira Rao, an Asian woman; and eight-to-ten white women. […] These dinners require white women to participate in direct, difficult conversations. It is not for the faint of heart.”

The preface speaks directly to white women.

“You know what you’re doing. But you pretend not to. […] So yes, we’ll explain to you how you’re racist. Even though we’re pretty sure you already know, whether you’re ready to admit it or not. […]

“White men may be on the throne. But you white women are shining it, fluffing the cushions, catching the coins that fall from their laps. […]

“YES. ALL. WHITE. WOMEN”

I kept reading with my eyebrows raised. A whole book of being yelled at did not sound pleasant or educational, no matter how true or justified the message. After the extended preface, the book shifts to tell the story of several of their dinner parties, and the way the conversations get derailed the same way over and over, all over the country. No wonder they’re yelling.

Saira Rao describes growing up as the daughter of Indian immigrants in a white community, aspiring to the perfection that white womanhood requires, but undermined from the start by her brown skin. The need for perfection and the endless backbiting and judgment undermine the white women around her as well. Anti-racism is only possible when mistakes are allowed, because unlearning racism and white supremacy is a difficult, mistake-ridden process.

White fragility, white tears, white allies, white saviors, white violence. They emphasize that silence is violence. Silently witnessing racism makes us an accomplice to it. We need to stand up and name what we see and speak against it, even though we are shamed and punished for breaking step with white supremacy.

Recommended as a refresher if you have already done a lot of anti-racist work. I don’t think this book would be palatable to someone just starting out.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Kingfisher” by Patricia A. McKillip

June 28, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

I am a longtime McKillip fan. I remember finding “Riddle-Master of Hed” on a used book rack as a young teen. When I finished reading it, I held the closed book in my hands, turned it over, and started reading it again to see all the connections I had missed the first time. Her “Forgotten Beasts of Eld” was my favorite book for many years.

Over the years I wandered away from automatically reading everything she published. The same themes and characters seemed remixed in each book, and the stories floated along vaguely without making sense.

I picked up Kingfisher when it popped up in a library search for “T.Kingfisher”. It’s a more recent book, from 2016. The King Arthur underpinnings give the book a strong structure, and the way she fixes the fore-doomed parts of the story is very satisfying.

Like with “Riddle-Master of Hed,” I turned the book over and started again when I finished it. It rewarded re-reading with more connections with the King Arthur story, and more details that I skimmed over the first time.

There is a strong theme of missing parents, and repairing broken connections. Some of the familiar themes were missing – no musicians! Some were there – cauldrons and castle kitchens cooking feasts. Shape changing. Learning magical skills quickly and easily. I liked that perceptiveness was a valued magical skill.

On the positive side, there are strong, competent women knights. On the negative side, all the important women characters are tall, willowy, and have light hair and eyes. A couple of incidental characters without speaking parts are described as plump. All the relationships are heterosexual. Everyone seems to be white. Even the man described as having “lamb’s wool” hair is also described as having pale colored hair. I would have hoped for better from a book written in 2016.

Recommended with those caveats.

Available at bookshop.org.

“The Art of Agile Development” by James Shore with Diana Larsen, Gitte Klitgaard, & Shane Warden

June 6, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Sam Livingston-Gray

I read this book in little bits over the winter. Since I’m now in two technical book groups for other books, I think it’s time to admit that I got as far as I’m going to get for now. It was surprisingly readable and relevant for a book on how to organize groups to write software.

I left my first full time software job after 5 years because I just couldn’t stomach the thought of another round of waterfall development: first requirements, then design specification, then functional specification, then code. With bonus Gantt charts. More recently, I’ve worked for three companies doing some version of Agile, and while none of them have strictly adhered to all the practices, they were all a big improvement over waterfall development.

In 2001, a group of experienced software developers got together and hammered out:

Manifesto for Agile Software Development

Individuals and interactions over process and tools

Working software over comprehensive documentation

Customer collaboration over contract negotiation

Responding to change over following a plan

The idea is to develop software in small bite-size changes so that it can adapt to continuously changing requirements, and to value teamwork among developers and with designers and customers rather than working in isolation. “People are the most important factor in software development success.” Agile includes automated tests written along with code, deploying software quickly, and working in pairs or larger groups.

The book includes how to start fresh with Agile when creating a new team, or adopting it in a possibly reluctant team or management. Management tends to resist the fluidity of agile teams because timelines and outcomes develop over time rather than being up front commitments (that are rarely met). At its heart Agile is about managing change, and the book includes thorough advice and analysis about the change to using Agile.

James Shore emphasizes having the whole team, which includes developers, designers, customer experts, and product managers, in the same room where they can easily ask each other questions and collaborate, as well as overhear details that might be relevant to what they’re working on. A remote team shares a Slack channel and uses video meetings to achieve some of the same benefits. “[Agile teams] are optimistic, enthusiastic, and genuinely enjoy working together. There’s a spirit of excellence, but it’s not overly serious.”

“Always ask, always help.” The team as a whole moves faster if everyone prioritizes helping each other get unstuck. It doesn’t help anyone for a developer to spend two days trying to figure out a problem that someone else could help solve in an hour of pairing on it together.

Psychological safety means team members are safe to disagree, safe to not know (yet), safe to ask for help. Enable all voices, be open about mistakes, be curious, learn how to give and receive feedback. Say “yes, and…” to people’s ideas.

There is a lot about estimates and breaking tasks into “right-size” pieces and the velocity of the team – how many stories get done in a given period. My current group chews through a lot of work in a two-week period, but we don’t estimate tasks ahead of time. Some tasks take an hour, and some take weeks because there are unexpected complications.

The book advocates for white boards and sticky notes, which don’t work as well in a remote team. Planning is done by moving sticky notes around.

This book is recommended for anyone writing software, whether their team is officially Agile or not. There are a lot of great practices, and it helps to know what some of the options are even if a team is only using some of them.

Available at bookshop.org.

“The Fire Trail” by Maureen Larkin Ustenci

June 4, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: A Mother’s Journey Through Grieving

Recommended to me by: the author

Maureen Larkin Ustenci lucidly shares the raw shock and shattering grief of losing her beloved only son to sudden death in a mountain lake just after he graduated from high school. She also shares joyful stories of raising him in multicultural Berkeley with her Turkish husband. This is a love letter to her son Efejon, to her husband Mustafa, to the city of Berkeley, and to the community that surrounded them and bore them up in their terrible grief.

The book moved me to tears and also delighted me with its depiction of family members, friends, traveling in Turkey, and raising a child who never stopped talking. It dips into the depths and rises again, acknowledging both unbearable pain and the people who reached out again and again to help them bear it with kindness, generosity, and warmth.

Available at Amazon.

“The English Understand Wool” by Helen DeWitt

May 3, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Andy

A story in brief chapters of a child raised by very wealthy very upperclass very international parents, and how she copes with a sudden change in her circumstances.

The story seems light, superficial, until it comes to its sudden, satisfying end and it becomes clearer how the apparently superficial details fit together.

It is written in a distancing style. Recommended if you like that, and/or if you like reading about how people behave when they have really a lot of money and are trying to meet their own standard for good behavior.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Katarína” by Kathryn Winter

April 16, 2023 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Folk dancing with the author

I was chatting with Kathryn at a folk dance party, and explained how my grandparents had to leave Germany because of the Holocaust. She brightened in recognition and said, “I was a hidden child during the Holocaust.” Like Anne Frank, but she lived. I said, “That must have been hard!” She said no, at the time she thought the work camps were like summer camps.

Her lightly fictionalized memoir is beautifully written, a series of child’s-eye vignettes full of details about life in Slovakia at the time. It is also harrowing to read. Kathryn shows difficult events and physical and emotional pain in response, but doesn’t dwell on it. The child Katarína feels both joy and sorrow strongly, and keeps moving forward with fierce resilience. She survived through both inner strength and luck, through care from others and a loving response to care.

Highly recommended. In this time of rising fascism we need to understand fascism’s detailed cruelty to a child. This happened in living memory. We are well along on the road to it happening again. It needs to stop.

Available via Biblio.com