Curious, Healing

Books about healing, business, and fun

spirituality

“Hospicing Modernity” by Vanessa Machado de Oliveira

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Subtitle: Facing Humanity’s Wrongs and the Implications for Social Activism
Recommended to me by: Amy Bennett

This book is a brilliantly written educational tool, including full transparency about the techniques it is using to bring the reader new ideas in the face of very sophisticated defenses. The first few chapters earnestly present the risks of reading the rest of the book, and offer practices to remain grounded and centered while reading stories that question basic assumptions about our reality.

Vanessa Machado de Oliviera uses stories from her own life as a mixed-race person in South America who now works in academia, in addition to deep political analysis to describe the twists and tricks of modernity, the way it consumes us and alters our thinking so that it seems inevitable and unquestionable. She uses metaphors and exercises to encourage new ideas to take root.

One of the exercises is to imagine oneself as a bus with varied passengers, and to pay attention to who is driving, who is giving suggestions to the driver, and who is in the back of the bus, not directly affecting the choice of direction, but still present. She asks, where is modernity on your bus, and what does it have to say.

I thought about that as I biked to an errand, and at first modernity seemed very distant. Then I realized it is standing by the driver and talking constantly about what I’ve done wrong and how I need to be productive and earn enough to deserve to live, etc. etc.

Modernity is tricky and slippery and we’ve all been steeped in it, so even when we think we have renounced and defeated it, we are engaging in battles and black & white thinking that are part of it. Thus we want to honor it both outside and inside ourselves as it goes through its death throes and makes way for something new that is hopefully more nourishing and healthy for us all.

I got this book from the library, but I think I need to buy a copy. It is a book to sit with and revisit and go back to. Highly recommended

Author’s website including videos of the author discussing her work.

Available at bookshop.org.

“If the Buddha Married” by Charlotte Kasl, Ph.D.

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Subtitle: Creating Enduring Relationships on a Spiritual Path
Recommended to me by: Seeing it in a Little Free Library and liking If the Buddha Dated

I chose Love as my word for this year, so this book feels appropriate to pick up. I tried reading “How to Love” by Thich Nhat Hanh earlier, and got bogged down in the prescriptiveness and assumptions about gender roles, so I put it down halfway through. This book doesn’t have those problems, although all the couples appear to be heterosexual until one at the very end of the book.

Charlotte Karl writes with clarity, depth, and kindness. When I was getting toward the end of the book, I thought, “Surely that’s the end of the substantive material,” but there were several more important topics, all treated with the same thoughtfulness as the rest of the book – sexuality, monogamy, honesty, and affairs.

Other topics include working through tension and resistance, recognizing masks, keeping agreements with great care, living in an “us” place (rather than me vs. you), open communication, and offering appreciation. It also includes some of the things that get in the way of authentic relationships, such as reacting out of unprocessed trauma from a young self, projecting feelings onto the other person, taking the partner for granted, and trying to change them into someone else.

The book is grounded in Zen Buddhism, and tries to be inclusive of other religions, such as the Quakers. There is a clunker of a moment where Charlotte Karl refers to the Jewish philosophy of repentance and repair in connection with Rosh Hashanah (new year) instead of Yom Kippur (day of atonement). Where was her editor?! She summarizes in a few paragraphs what Danya Ruttenberg explores in depth in her book “On Repentance and Repair.” (I read half of that recently, but it was more academic than I wanted, and focused at the national rather than the personal level.)

It’s good to read stories of couples who are kind, committed, and most of all, successful at building happy lives together while being their authentic selves. I have wanted a relationship like that for a long time. I had more or less decided that what I want is a mirage. Now I’m reminded that maybe it is possible, although I still don’t know a path to bring it into my life.

Highly recommended if you also care about the how and why of authentic relationships.

Available at bookshop.org.

“The Serviceberry” by Robin Wall Kimmerer

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Subtitle: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World
Recommended to me by: Reading Kimmerer’s other books

Robin Wall Kimmerer is an Indigenous scientist, writer, and teacher. She shares the gathered wisdom of her Potawatomi tribe, along with her knowledge of the ins and outs of academia as a botanist.

She compares the Indigenous gift economy, which is in harmony with the natural world, to capitalist economics that try to extract maximum value, wrecking the natural world. The book is small and brief, 100 pages, illustrated with pen and ink drawings.

The serviceberry bush has many names because it is important to many communities and cultures. The berries are eaten fresh, and dried to make pemmican for travel and winter months. Birds also feast on the berries. Their abundant berries lead to gratitude, which leads to reciprocity and paying it forward, which feeds the cycle of life. A specific instance of picking serviceberries described in vivid detail provides a rich scaffold for considering how we can learn from plants and live better.

How can we grow gift economies within and alongside the capitalist system? There are already little free libraries, tool libraries, neighborhood food banks, trash nothing and buy nothing online groups, and neighborhood organizations for mutual aid.

This book is a joyful celebration of all of those, along with a careful, encouraging exploration of a positive direction to replace the negative of capitalism. The more we can each support our local gift economies, the more joy and sustainability we bring into our lives.

Highly recommended.

Available at bookshop.org.

“May We Forever Stand” by Imani Perry

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Subtitle: A History of the Black National Anthem

Recommended to me by: Jesse the K

The author Dr. Imani Perry was at the time of publication in 2018 the Hughes-Rogers Professor of African American Studies at Princeton University. Wikipedia says that in addition to a Ph.D., she has a J.D. from Harvard Law School. As of 2023, she is now a professor at Harvard.Her book is a carefully researched and engagingly written in-depth historical study of the song “Lift Every Voice and Sing” as it has been intertwined with Black Americans’ creation of a rich community life and struggles for civil rights.

The song was written by brothers James Weldon Johnson (lyrics) and John Rosamond Johnson (music) in 1900 in Jacksonville, Florida. The song spread among the many Black formal and informal community associations and was soon named the Black National Anthem.

It was sung at all-Black schools as part of nurturing the pride and sense of self of the students. It was woven into plays created to educate children and adults alike about the struggles and achievements of Black Americans. It created solidarity and hope.

The book contains enough content for a semester course on Black American History from the end of the Civil War through to the 1980s, with “Lift Every Voice and Sing” tying it all together.

Highly recommended.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Writing Down the Bones” by Natalie Goldberg

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Subtitle: Freeing the Writer Within

Recommended to me by: finding it in a little free library

Natalie Goldberg combines writing practice and Zen practice in short chapters where she shares about her own writing adventures, and repeatedly admonishes the reader (or herself) to just sit down and write. I appreciated her ongoing willingness to sink into the depths of herself and write whatever showed up. The book veers between writing exercises, Zen wisdom, and her anxiety about eating too many brownies.

“A writer’s job is to make the ordinary come alive, to awaken to the specialness of simply being.”

“If you give yourself over to honesty in your practice, it will permeate your life.”

“We are good, and when our work is good, it is good. We should acknowledge it and stand behind it.”

I wonder if this book would have landed differently for me if I had read it when I was still writing and sending out an article each month. Since writing is not something I’m trying to make a living at, I don’t have the urgency or intensity around it that this book speaks to.

Recommended for people wrestling with being a writer as an identity, a practice, and/or a career.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Just Being at the Piano” by Mildred Portney Chase

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Subtitle: Harmony Begins in the Soul, Long Before the First Note Is Played

Recommended to me by: the Little Free Library down the street

A meditative little book on how to learn and teach piano in a kind, body-centered way. Mildred Portney Chase was a musical prodigy, playing piano by ear at age 3 or 4, and went on to be a concert pianist. She writes in detail about how she finds relaxed, sensitive movement in her fingers, hands, and arms to play her best. She fiercely defends the right of young students to improvise and learn at their own pace.

I have only studied a little piano. Some of the book is applicable to singing, and some of it is specific to the piano, which as she says is an instrument that cannot be brought close in to the musician’s body. I passed the book along to a piano player and teacher, and I’ll be curious to hear what she thinks of it.

Recommended if you’re interested in music and musicians, or if you play piano and want to create beautiful tones.

Available at bookshop.org.