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Curious, Healing

Curious, Healing

Books about healing, business, and fun

  • About Sonia Connolly

“National Velvet” by Enid Bagnold

April 19, 2010 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

I received this book, originally published in 1935, with a childhood gift of six classic Young Adult novels. I’ve carried the set from home to home ever since, but hadn’t reread any of the books in many years.

Before I send the set off to my niece and nephew, I decided to reread “National Velvet,” since the image of Velvet struggling with her unruly stomach had been coming to mind.

I remembered the essence of the book – horse-mad young Velvet rides and wins a steeplechase race – but had forgotten most of the details, including that the story takes place in England.

The writing is gorgeously evocative. Here is the opening paragraph:

Unearthly humps of land curved into the darkening sky like the backs of browsing pigs, like the rumps of elephants. At night when the stars rose over them they looked like a starlit herd of divine pigs. The villagers called them Hullocks.

I paused there in my reading to imagine the Hullocks, reminded of a village I visited in southern England, ensconced in a narrow valley dropping to the sea.

It turns out that Velvet grows up in just such a village with her three older sisters, much younger brother, solid parents, and butcher’s assistant Mi Taylor. Their cramped living quarters are attached to her father’s slaughterhouse. Mi lives in an outbuilding, and their old horse has a rickety barn.

The girls seem young for their ages by modern standards. At fourteen, Velvet prances about pretending to ride paper horses. Her seventeen year old sister has her first beau. The girls can ride alone for miles among the Hullocks, but their mother tells them what to wear to the village fair. The family shares few words but much love.

I recommend reading this book for the layered details of village life and relationships. I was less interested in the wish-come-true plot, although to be fair I’m considerably older than the target audience of the book. There are sub-themes about news and fame and innocence which provide food for thought.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: fiction Tagged With: illustrated, young adult

“We Are All in Shock” by Stephanie Mines, Ph.D.

April 1, 2010 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: How Overwhelming Experience Shatter You… And What You Can Do About It

Recommended to me by: Larisa Koehn

In this book, Stephanie Mines introduces and advocates for her approach to healing named Jin Shin Tara. It is derived from Jin Shin Jyutso, a gentle form of acupressure.

She defines shock as severe trauma, and then claims that from conception onward, we are all exposed to shocks (severe traumas). She separates sympathetic shock (stuck in activity) from parasympathetic shock (stuck in passivity).

Anecdotes from her own life and from clients demonstrate dramatic, immediate results from Jin Shin Tara.

Detailed instructions are given for applying Jin Shin Tara to oneself and others. There are correspondences between points on the body and emotional states, chakras, and seasons of the year. Specific points are also recommended for each month of gestation during a pregnancy.

Stephanie Mines’ mission is to increase awareness of the vulnerable time before, during, and just after birth, and minimize shock (severe trauma) at those times in order to reduce the amount of violence in the world.

There is a lot of useful information in this book, and I enthusiastically support the mission of reducing shock and trauma in the world.

At the same time, I am wary of simplified approaches to complex experiences. Jin Shin Tara is presented as being universally applicable with guaranteed results. I prefer a more balanced, nuanced approach. I think it is useful to differentiate between severe trauma and the more daily bumps and shocks we all experience.

Read more about Stephanie Mines’ approach to healing at her website.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: bodywork, healing, illustrated, memoir, trauma

“Committed” by Elizabeth Gilbert

March 28, 2010 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitled “A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage,” this is a sequel to Eat, Pray, Love.

I was expecting an exploration of emotional commitment as detailed as the exploration of transformation, self-discovery, and healing in Eat, Pray, Love. Instead, Committed documents the political institution of marriage.

In Linchpin, Seth Godin mentions that Elizabeth Gilbert printed out the first completed draft of this book, read it, threw it away, and started over. He used it as an example of lacking the commitment to shipping a completed work.

In her introduction to Committed, Gilbert mentions that she had trouble finding her writing voice after Eat, Pray, Love became a bestseller, and that she threw away the first draft because the voice was too distant, not recognizable as her own voice. I’m glad she had the commitment to her own voice and the courage to start over in that case, especially since I still see some distance in the book she did ship.

The book contains engaging personal stories about the author, her extended family, and some of the people she encounters in her travels. It also contains generalizations about “tribal” Hebrews vs. “intellectual” Greeks, and a shallow historical overview of the institution of marriage.

I’m glad to know what happened next in the relationship between Elizabeth and Felipe, and wish them the best in their new home.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: fun, memoir

“Get Clients Now!” by C. J. Hayden

March 25, 2010 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Despite the intimidating cover, this book is filled with compassionate, practical suggestions for getting a marketing program off the ground.

Getting clients is divided into four stages:

  • Filling the pipeline
  • Following up
  • Getting presentations
  • Closing sales

For the 28 day program, the book recommends focusing on a single stage, and committing to a set of 8-10 daily or weekly actions from a menu of suggestions. The actions include both direct marketing and incremental work on longer-term “Success Ingredients” such as a brochure or website.

There are helpful sections on choosing realistic goals and managing resistance when it inevitably arises. As well as choosing activities, you choose a Special Permission, such as “I have permission to ask for what I want” or “I deserve to be successful.”

Worksheets for choosing a program and tracking progress can be downloaded at the Get Clients Now website.

For myself, I find that I need more flexibility than this intense 28-day program provides, but the structured approach makes marketing seem a lot less mysterious. It is reassuring to see how many of the “success ingredients” I’ve created along the way, and how many of the recommended activities I’ve incorporated into my marketing, even if I don’t do 8 of them per day.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: business

“The Lacuna” by Barbara Kingsolver

March 14, 2010 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Reading Barbara Kingsolver’s past books.

“The Lacuna” is both epic and personal, ranging across countries and decades and historic events, and also documenting the details of a child’s life.

The point-of-view character, Harrison William Shepherd, is unwanted by his father and only haphazardly cared for by his alcoholic self-centered mother. The book starts on a remote Mexican island in 1929, where young “Will” (his mother uses his middle name) and his mother are trapped with a rich man she hopes will marry her.

Will connects with Leandro, the native cook, who happily teaches him cooking skills in exchange for his help in the kitchen. Starting a matter-of-fact theme through the book, Will has a crush on him, but doesn’t reveal it. Leandro is young enough to be called “cook boy”, but old enough to be married with children.

Leandro gives Will swim goggles, and he discovers the wonders of the tropical ocean. He also finds a lacuna – a hole – an undersea tunnel that opens into hidden Aztec ruins. During the full moon, the tides help him get through on one breath.

Will starts keeping a journal, filling notebooks with his observations and stories. In another layer of plot, the book itself is supposedly compiled from the notebooks by “VB”.

Will and his mother escape from the island to Mexico City via another of his mother’s affairs. He spends two years back in a US boarding school, where his father calls him Harry. “Whoever pays the bill names the boy.”

Back in Mexico City, Harry joins the household of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, as cook, secretary, driver, and friend. There, they call him yet a third name, Soli, because they can’t pronounce Harrison. Lev Trotsky, on the run from Stalin, comes to stay with them.

In the aftermath of Trotsky’s assassination, Harry goes back to the US once again, and discovers his father has died, leaving him a car. He simply starts driving, and settles in Asheville, North Carolina, where the Blue Ridge Parkway unceremoniously ended.

He takes up writing at last, successfully publishing two novels set in the Mexican past, but is eventually hounded by the House Un-American Activities Committee and convicted of being a Communist. He escapes back to Mexico.

“VB” is revealed to be his secretary and help-meet in Asheville, Violet Brown.

The book is filled with layers of historical research. I learned about Mexican history, Diego Rivera, Frida Kahlo, Lev Trotsky, the American Depression, and the anticommunist movement.

However, I didn’t engage with the characters. The historical figures feel remote, and even Harry refers to himself in third person as the cook, or driver. He doesn’t make contact with his own emotions. As I read, I wondered what lesson or point I was supposed to be taking in.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: fiction Tagged With: fun

“Linchpin: Are You Indispensable?” by Seth Godin

March 6, 2010 by Sonia Connolly 1 Comment

Recommended to me by: Seth Godin’s blog

Seth Godin brings together several of his ideas about how to survive in our changed economy. His main premise is that non-thinking “factory” work is no longer the road to security. “Factory” is in quotes because he uses it to include any job which involves following the rules and doing what the boss says.

He redefines several other words, including “art” (a gift that changes the recipient), and “artist” (someone who gives such gifts in a business context).

I love his idea of “emotional work”, which is one of the possible ways to make “art.” Emotional work includes both confronting ones own resistance, and creating genuine connections with others. I know I’m much more likely to frequent a shop where the employees or owners give me the gift of emotional connection.

Which brings us to his main definition, “linchpin”: someone who does their emotional work, creates art, gives that little bit extra to both coworkers and customers, and becomes essential to a business.

He talks at length about the importance of “shipping” – completing the art or product and sending out into the world – and the “lizard brain” or resistance that gets in the way. This was the most problematic redefinition for me, because he makes it clear that he’s referring to the amygdala and limbic system, which evolved in mammals, not reptiles.

While it’s useful to think of resistance as a separate voice and notice what it’s saying without letting it take over, I was uncomfortable with the dismissive, combative attitude he seemed to be promoting. I’m more comfortable with the compassionate attitude in Cheri Huber’s How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, which I happened to be reading at the same time.

The writing is choppy, reminiscent of his pithy, paragraph-long blog posts. I read his blog with interest every day, but find the style distracting in a full book.

Seth Godin has also published the book’s ideas in a freely available PDF.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: business, marketing, psychology

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