Curious, Healing

Books about healing, business, and fun

“Not Even My Name – From a Death March in Turkey to a New Home in America, a Young Girl’s True Story of Genocide and Survival” by Thea Halo

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Recommended to me by: Joe Graziosi in a East European Folklife Center (EEFC) mailing list post Re: Books on Pontos/Pontian People?

Thea Halo and her mother Sano Themia Halo present a gorgeously detailed first-person account of the countryside, daily life, and people living in a tiny village in the Pontic mountains of Turkey south of the Black Sea in the early 20th century. Equally vividly, they describes the end of that way of life as ten-year-old Themia, her family, and everyone else around them are forced away from their homes on a months-long, heartbreaking death march.

I found myself skipping over the occasional departures from a personal account into paragraphs of historical numbers and dates, and Joe Graziosi notes that these history lessons are “biased and often incorrect“.

I learned about the Pontic people and their peaceful village life. I learned about the little-known genocide of Pontic Greeks, Armenians, and Assyrians in Turkey after World War I. I learned that the Assyrians are a living people, not just a shape on a map in Ancient World History class.

I learned about one girl’s survival, and her decision to act in kindness rather than meanness throughout her life. When she had finally come to relative safety after her horrific journey, I recognized a trauma response in her daily bouts of shivering. I’m glad she finally reached a place where she could receive caring and warmth.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Learned Optimism – How to Change Your Mind and Your Life” by Martin Seligman

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Recommended to me by: Molly Gordon’s Biznik article When the Going Gets Tough, Think Smarter

In a book that combines psychological research and self-help suggestions, Seligman correlates optimism with health and happiness, and pessimism with learned helplessness and depression.

Explanatory styles for positive and negative events are analyzed for being permanent, pervasive, and personal.

Optimists tend to think negative events are temporary, restricted in scope, and externally caused, while positive events are permanent, global in scope, and internally caused. Pessimists tend to think the reverse. Seligman does note that pessimists’ explanations are more accurate, on average.

He recommends ABCDE cognitive therapy to correct explanatory styles. For every Adverse event, notice pessimistic Beliefs, observe Consequences, Distract from or Dispute the beliefs, and observe the Energization that occurs. Techniques for disputing beliefs include evidence, alternatives, implications, and usefulness.

While the ideas are useful, and the scientific research he describes was ground-breaking, the glib, salesman style of the book left me wondering what caveats, limitations, and assumptions were glossed over.

Noticing and questioning beliefs is a powerful technique which has been recommended by many people, framed in many ways. I prefer less confrontational ways of interacting with my own thoughts. The most useful part of this book for me is the new language for analyzing explanatory styles.

While Seligman emphasizes optimism vs. pessimism, I think the big news is his early research on learned helplessness. Once overcome, learned helplessness does not return. For survivors of any kind of abuse of power, this can be the key to recovery.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Traumatic Stress – The Effects of Overwhelming Experience on Mind, Body, and Society” edited by Bessel van der Kolk, Alexander McFarlane, and Lars Weisaeth

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This is a collection of research papers by van der Kolk, McFarlane, Weisaeth, and others, chronicling the effects and treatment of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

The first section, Background Issues and History, covers some of the reasons for society’s repeated repudiation of PTSD as a valid diagnosis, and chronic lack of research into effective treatments. I am glad to see these researchers’ firm belief in the validity of traumatic reactions.

Other sections are Acute Reactions; Adaptations to Trauma; Memory: Mechanisms and Processes; Developmental, Societal, and Cultural Issues; and Treatment. The papers are clearly written, but dense, and I read them a few at a time. This is a great reference book for anyone working with traumatized people.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman

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This story of young Bod Owens growing up in a graveyard sparkles with inviting details and action on every page, drawing me into reading it while I was supposed to be doing other things. I enjoyed the gradual revelations about his caretakers, and the sturdy, matter-of-fact ethics that Bod learns from them.

Like any good fairy tale, this book’s underlying themes are about how to be a good person, how to recognize those who are not, and what to do about them when you encounter them.

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Stay with me” by Garret Freymann-Weyr

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Recommended to me by: Marissa Lingen

Narrated by oddly mature sixteen year old Leila (“Lee-la”) Abranel, this coming-of-age novel shows her both grappling with her much older sister’s suicide, and embarking on her second romantic relationship. The story is absorbing, but harrowing events and difficult emotions are described so quietly that the characters seem flat and distant.

My favorite theme is Leila’s mother encouraging her to trust her self and her instincts. In turn, Leila says, “My body is the one thing in life I completely trust.” I wish I had learned that as a teenager!

Available at Powell’s Books.

“Transparent – Love, Family and Living the T with Transgender Teenagers” by Cris Beam

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Cris Beam moved to LA with her partner and, almost accidentally, started teaching at a “small, scrappy high school for gay and transgender teenagers.” Many of the kids live on the street, supporting themselves through prostitution. This first-person account portrays their individual quirks, triumphs, and tragedies in casual, engaging detail.

“Living the T” is street-talk for both living as a Transgendered person, and living the Truth. This book shares Truth generously, by the armload. What it’s like to know you’re transgendered from toddlerhood; to be thrown out of your parents’ house as a young teen; to learn from your “drag mother” the tips and tricks of looking like a woman; to pass flawlessly but both long for and fear intimate relationships. Cris Beam includes her own experiences and feelings as she mentors, protects, and finally adopts Christina, a troubled transgender teenager.

Available at Powell’s Books.