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Curious, Healing

Curious, Healing

Books about healing, business, and fun

  • About Sonia Connolly

“The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down” by Anne Fadiman

March 31, 2011 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: A Hmong child, her American doctors, and the collision of two cultures

Recommended to me by: Emily Ross

This is a beautifully written history of the Hmong people from Laos in the 20th century, interwoven with the story of one Hmong family who took refuge in Merced, California. Their daughter Lia Lee had her first epileptic seizure at age 4 months. Both the family and Lia’s doctors struggle with her illness and with the communication barriers between their cultures.

The Lees are frustrated because Lia continues to have seizures, and her prescribed medicines cause side-effects they don’t expect. The doctors are frustrated because the Lees don’t speak English and “aren’t compliant” with the medicine schedule. Also, the Lees have very little money.

Dr. Arthur Kleinman, a psychiatrist and medical anthropologist at Harvard Medical School, developed a set of eight questions to elicit a patient’s “explanatory model.” After getting to know the Lees, Anne Fadiman answers the eight questions from their perspective. The American doctors continue full-tilt in their own medical explanatory model, unable to consider a different model.

  1. What do you call the problem?
    Qaug dab peg. That means the spirit catches you and you fall down.
  2. What do you think has caused the problem?
    Soul loss.
  3. Why do you think it started when it did?
    Lia’s sister Yer slammed the door and Lia’s soul was frightened out of her body.
  4. What do you think the sickness does? How does it work?
    It makes Lia shake and fall down. It works because a spirit called a dab is catching her.
  5. How severe is the sickness? Will it have a short or long course?
    Why are you asking us those questions? If you are a good doctor, you should know the answers yourself.
  6. What kind of treatment do you think the patient should receive? What are the most important results you hope she receives from this treatment?
    You should give Lia medicine to take for a week but no longer. After she is well, she should stop taking the medicine. […]
  7. What are the chief problems the sickness has caused?
    It has made us sad to see Lia hurt, and it has made us angry at Yer.
  8. What do you fear most about the sickness?
    That Lia’s soul will never return.

My only issue with the book is that chapters about Hmong history are inserted at cliff-hanger portions of Lia’s story, causing me to flip ahead and find out what happens to her. The history is worth reading in its own right and doesn’t need manufactured suspense to pull the reader through it.

Recommended to anyone who wants to learn about Hmong culture and history, medical communication at its worst and best, and the story of one much-loved child.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: communication, disability, spirituality, trauma

“The Red Tree” by Shaun Tan

March 30, 2011 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

book cover

Recommended to me by: Mely’s evocative review

A nearly wordless picture book filled with intricate oil and acrylic paintings showing a small, lonely girl’s inner world. A red leaf lies somewhere on each page. Searching for it led me deeper into the paintings’ quirky details.

To Mely, it’s about depression. To one child, it was about worries. To me, it looks like the effect of child abuse, splitting from one’s own body and feeling disconnected from the world.

Highly recommended.

See the author’s website for more images from the book and discussion about it.

Available at bookshop.org as part of the newly released Lost and Found omnibus edition.

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: childrens, fun, illustrated

“The Referral of a Lifetime” by Tim Templeton

March 30, 2011 by Sonia Connolly 2 Comments

Subtitle: The Networking System That Produces Bottom-Line Results… Every Day!

Recommended to me by: Karen Wehrman

A quick and amusing read, this book teaches a method of getting referrals and building business, illustrated with fictional vignettes. The vignettes are slightly dated in their attitudes toward women, but at least women are shown as successful business owners.

The system is based on treating customers and contacts with integrity, staying in touch consistently, and asking for referrals. While it is recommended to outsource sending “items of value” every month (the author’s business provides that service), it is also recommended to make the system fit each particular business.

I recently realized that my business is personal, not personalized. I send hand-written thank you notes, not cards printed by a service. I spend a couple of days each month writing a substantive article to send to my mailing list.

While I don’t think this book outlines the only way to succeed at business, and I don’t think it’s a perfect fit for my business, I’m going to keep thinking about the suggestions and how they might apply. It wouldn’t hurt to emphasize my commitment to service and ask for referrals more often!

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: business

“The Necessary Beggar” by Susan Palwick

March 16, 2011 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Loved Susan Palwick’s first book Flying in Place

The Necessary Beggar begins with a flurry of long hyphenated names and fantastical pronouncements. “It’s an allegory,” I told myself, and kept reading. The story soon descends into grimness at a US internment camp, but does not lose its fairy tale tone.

Even at 6 years old, the central character Zamatryna-Harani Erolorit is super-competent and aware. She continues to excel at everything, including emotional self-control, growing up as an American teen.

Alcoholism, Christianity, family ties, lies, despair, and unlikely salvations weave through the book beneath the fairy tale names and gritty details of daily life. I never felt fully drawn in to either the daily details or the magical salvations.

I’m still puzzling over the allegory. They use prayer rugs in the fairy tale land – does that mean they represent Muslims? The evangelical Christians are not shown in 100% positive light, but they do get a lot of air time, and they do dramatically rescue the family.

The fairy tale extended family stays together no matter what. Impetuous “true love” both imperils and saves them. The very elaborateness of the book’s plot contradicts any conclusions about “love conquers all.”

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: fiction Tagged With: fun, survival story

“The Way to Rainy Mountain” by N. Scott Momaday

March 14, 2011 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: veleda_k in 50books_poc

A series of impressions of the legends, history, and personal experiences of the Kiowas, a Native American tribe living in Oklahoma. Scott Momaday’s grandmother Aho attended the last full Sun Dance of the Kiowas as a child, and shared stories and traditions with him as he grew.

Each image is bright, clear, specific to its own time and place.

The aged visitors who came to my grandmother’s house when I was a child were made of lean and leather, and they bore themselves upright. They wore great black hats and bright ample shirts that shook in the wind. They rubbed fat upon their hair and wound their braids with strips of colored cloth.”

Highly recommended both for the beautiful writing, and for the information about the Kiowas in particular, in contrast to the generalized impression of Native Americans that many books contain.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: illustrated, memoir

“Nasty People” by Jay Carter

March 14, 2011 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: How to stop being hurt by them without becoming one of them

Re-read while writing my double bind article.

The first half of this book talks about invalidators and how subtle and awful they can be. The tone is affirming and validating for those who have been invalidated in the past.

The second half abruptly changes tone and says there are no invalidators, only people using invalidating mechanisms which can be catching from one person to another. It is true that we have all invalidated others at times, but the shift felt awkward and unsettling.

The gap is bridged by saying that 1% of people are incorrigibly invalidating, but 20% can change their ways with suitable feedback.

I had a mixed reaction to this book. It contains some helpful information, delivered as absolute statements, some of which contradict each other, and many of which talk down to the reader.

Available at bookshop.org.

Filed Under: nonfiction Tagged With: communication, illustrated, psychology

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