neurodiversity

“Very Far Away From Anywhere Else” by Ursula K Le Guin

October 6, 2025 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

I ran across this reference to a book by Ursula K Le Guin which was not science fiction or fantasy, and I was curious, so I got it out of the library. I had seen the title around over the years, and I imagined it was something like “Bridge to Terabithia” with people going to imaginary worlds, or maybe a travelogue about very remote wilderness places.

It had a little bit about an imaginary world, but no one goes there. It’s about two socially isolated high school seniors who find each other and become friends. It’s explicitly about being out of step with what’s expected. More indirectly, it’s about being neurodivergent. It’s about taking music seriously, and taking friendship seriously, and the ways relationships can be complicated and ruined by expectations, and maybe repaired again. It’s about despair and dissociation and disconnection and the double bind of loving expectations that don’t apply.

All that in 89 pages! Its location is never named, and while it has geographical elements of Portland OR (Le Guin’s home town), it seems like a smaller city than the Portland I knew.

Recommended!

Available at bookshop.org.

“Weaving Hope” by Celia Lake

July 19, 2025 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

This is a gentle romance between two capable, kind people in their 40s. The careful background research about weaving, tapestries, and estates gives the book a solid foundation. It was good to see neurodiverse characters portrayed with respect and treated with kindness.

The characters are skilled at communication and consent. We hear their thoughts as they notice the details of each other’s behavior, but there is a refreshing lack of silence or miscommunication driving the plot.

There are a lot of small details of daily behavior – making tea, using the water closet, navigating a large complex house. The characters are emotionally well-regulated, so the book feels calming to read, even while they work on solving a mystery.

Recommended for a refreshing and peaceful read.

Available from Celia Lake.

“brown girl dreaming” by Jacqueline Woodson

January 31, 2024 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Recommended to me by: Reading Jaqueline Woodson’s children’s book The Day You Begin

In spare, elegant poetry with each word exactly as it needs to be, Jacqueline Woodson takes us back before her birth in her family history, and then slowly forward in time. She shares her sensory experiences as a young child in Ohio and then in the South, and later after her family moved to Brooklyn, NY. The writing is lyrical, gripping, joyous, painful.

Life is dangerous for a Black family in the 60s and 70s, and she grieves for relatives as they die, at the same time as she struggles with reading in school and bonds with a neighbor girl as Forever Friends. She is aware of the struggle for civil rights, and participates as much as she can.

Highly recommended! Every word is worth reading, through the acknowledgements and end notes all the way to the photographs of family members as children at the very end.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price, PhD

January 10, 2023 by Sonia Connolly 2 Comments

Recommended to me by: Sam Livingston-Gray

Devon Price, PhD, is a social psychologist, professor, author, trans person, and proud Autistic person.

The book starts out stiff and academic and a little defensive, citing a lot of facts and figures about being autistic. Gradually it warms up as it describes different people’s experiences with unmasking. The last chapter is a joyful exploration of how we can move toward an inclusive and accessible world for all neurodiverse people, including queer and trans folks and people of color. The book itself is a demonstration of unmasking.

Autism is a developmental disability that runs in families and appears to be largely genetically determined. Autistic brains have more interconnections in some areas than allistic (non-autistic) brains, and fewer in others. Autistic people tend to focus on small details rather than the big picture. Rather than adapting to ongoing stimuli (like an annoying sound), autistic brains find it more and more annoying.

Devon Price discusses other diagnoses that overlap with autism, such as ADHD, PTSD, and being “highly sensitive.” Autism is a cognitive and sensory difference that affects every area of life. People can have sub-clinical autism, not severe enough to be diagnosed, but still benefiting from unmasking and accommodations. Self-diagnosis is an option when formal diagnosis is financially or logistically out of reach.

Formal diagnosis of autism is slanted toward the characteristics of well-to-do white boys, because that was the population under study when the diagnostic criteria were developed. Autistic girls learn more social and masking skills because of the ways girls are given less leeway to be disruptive than boys. Black and brown autistic people have even less leeway and are likely to be seen as criminal rather than disabled at a very young age.

The distinction between “high functioning” and “low functioning” autism is called out as an artifact of Hans Aspergers’ eugenicist and fascist beliefs.

Substance use can be self-medication for sensory overwhelm and despair, and an attempt to facilitate social interactions. When there is less need for masking, there is less need for substance overuse.

The book includes exercises to discover disowned behaviors and the masks that compensate for them. Once autism is fully acknowledged, it becomes possible to choose activities and accommodations that fit better.

Recommended to learn more about autism and the ways autistic people struggle to meet neurotypical expectations. Also recommended for the encouragement to listen to our own needs and build a life that works for us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if societal resources were put toward making everyone successful by offering the support and accommodations each person needs.

Available at bookshop.org.

“Quiet” by Susan Cain

October 6, 2021 by Sonia Connolly Leave a Comment

Subtitle: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

Recommended to me by: Leah K. Walsh

This is a carefully researched, well written, engaging book that says, “Introverts really are good enough!” Since I didn’t go in doubting that, I felt off-balance as I read, especially since I thought it would be a book about small business marketing for introverts.

From the summary at the end:

This book is about introversion as seen from a cultural point of view. Its primary concern is the age-old dichotomy between the “man of action” and the “man of contemplation,” and how we could improve the world if only there were a greater balance of power between the two types. It focuses on the person who recognizes him- or herself somewhere in the following constellation of attributes: reflective, cerebral, bookish, unassuming, sensitive, thoughtful, serious, contemplative, subtle, introspective, inner-directed, gentle, calm, modest, solitude-seeking, shy, risk-averse, thin-skinned. Quiet is also about this person’s opposite number: the “man of action” who is ebullient, expansive, sociable, gregarious, excitable, dominant, assertive, active, risk-taking, thick-skinned, outer-directed, light-hearted, bold, and comfortable in the spotlight.

The book starts with the story of Rosa Parks refusing to get off the bus, celebrating her for doing it in a quiet, unassuming way, without saying that racism required someone exactly like that for her role. It does come back to her story later and say that she was already trained in nonviolent resistance.

There are historical portraits of Eleanor Roosevelt, Dale Carnegie, and Steve Wozniak. Interviews with students at Harvard Business School where everything is done in groups, noting how influential the graduates are. Scientific studies involving tormenting monkeys to see the effects of a gene for processing serotonin. (No one seems to note the problems with animal research in books like this.) Other studies showing that group brainstorming is not as creative or innovative as people working alone, unless it’s done online. A longitudinal study showing that babies who are highly reactive tend to become introverted kids and adults.

There is a big emphasis on spouses and “mates.” It’s okay that the introverts were unpopular in high school, because of how happy they are with their mates and kids now. The vast majority are heterosexual. I vaguely remember mention of a gay couple, but it went by fast, in contrast with the extensive profiles of several heterosexual couples.

Gender roles are never overtly discussed, but it feels like this whole book is struggling with what it means to be a good valued person without having qualities traditionally valued in men (see the quote above about men of action).

If you feel defensive about being an introvert and care about the world of influential people, this might be the book for you.

Available at bookshop.org.

“The ABCs of Autism Acceptance” by Sparrow Rose Jones

September 19, 2021 by Sonia Connolly 1 Comment

Recommended to me by: AlexSeanchai

I thought the ABCs of autism acceptance would be the basic or elementary level of acceptance. Instead, this is a series of essays on topics starting with each letter of the alphabet: A for Acceptance, B for Bullying, C for (People of) Color, etc. Sparrow Rose Jones is autistic and shares some of their story through the essays.

They started the project out of rage against “autism awareness month” and the Autism Speaks organization, which ignores autistic adults and treats autistic children as a dreadful burden on their parents. Some of the essays carry that edge of fighting back against unacceptable treatment. The book advocates for acceptance, inclusion, and support, rather than awareness, othering, and neglect. “Presume competence, and provide support.” Autism is an intrinsic quality of a person, not something that can be peeled away to find the “normal” child or adult underneath.

Sparrow Rose Jones describes their own experience, and also reinforces that autistic people are not a monolith by including references to other autistic people’s viewpoints. In “E is for Empathy,” they strongly question the assumption that autistic people lack empathy, and also refer to Cynthia Kim’s essay The Empathy Conundrum where she discusses having an empathy deficiency. She distinguishes between not being able to sense someone’s emotions, while still having sympathy for their distress when she perceives it. Autistic people deserve acceptance and support whether or not they can intuit others’ emotions.

From the conclusion:

We have explored some serious and often intense topics. Autism acceptance is about seeing the beauty and living the joy of autism, but there are some very difficult aspects to the Autistic life – some inherent and many imposed on us from outside. Autism acceptance includes understanding our struggles and being compassionate toward us as we seek a better life for ourselves and others.

Highly recommended to learn about one person’s experience of being autistic and an overview of others’ experiences, including statistics about poverty, unemployment, victimization, etc.

Note: The author is now known as Maxfield Sparrow. Website: Unstrange Mind.

Available at bookshop.org.